So, if you have read my Positive Birth blogpost, you may be wondering why I would even need to write a post like this?
Actually, there are plenty of things I wish I did during this time & this post is going to get right into the thick of it.
My Positive Birth Story - First Time Mother - Ireland - Home Water Birth
If you haven't already read it ^
I will break it up into what I wish I done & will do next time antenatally & postnatally for you.
Antenatally
1. Done more research or maybe even a workshop on the postpartum period, fourth trimester & beyond.
Why?
I had absolutely no idea how hard it would hit me - I suppose I followed lots of new mams on Youtube and it was made looks really easy and nice, which it can be - but it is also really tough sometimes & I had no idea what emotional and mental challenges I would face (driven by hormones and their insane fluctuations) it was much, out of my control and I believe, had I have done a little bit of research I would have been more prepared for that transition and not so shocked by it all.
2. Ordered more ready made meals from the likes of Eatto!
Why?
So, I was extremely blessed with my mother making us her famous dishes most days and my sisters sending over cheese boards and what not, my friend AJ also sent us the biggest surprise of all (which I know Sean and my Mam were delighted about) the EATTO delivery box!! A large box full of frozen meals & desserts for a week - omg stunning!
Linked below:
We were also blessed with a BUJO Burger voucher from our amazing friends (we were living in Ringsend at the time & living on Bujo burgers lol.
Basically, these gifts were the best - anything food related - whether it was homemade, pre-made or in voucher form.
However, I wish I put some money aside to stock up on these meals before baby arrived as we were ordering takeaway a lot too, lol.
3. Hired a Postpartum Doula - even just once a week in the first month.
Why?
I am very lucky that our families are so helpful, and they were really great, as were my midwives in my two week postnatal visits.
After those initial couple of weeks the house becomes - chaotic, to put it nicely & an extra set of hands would definitely be nice to have next time around especially that it wouldn't be my first baby and I would have Alistair up ending the gaff & not feeling the pressure of asking people to come down to clean my house haha.
Doulas are also great as they provide a listening ear - no judgement attached, no unsolicited advice.
Emotional support is extremely important postpartum as it is antenatally.
I wouldn't think twice about hiring a postpartum doula next time.
4. Perineal massage - yep, second degree tearing over here (it sounds worse than it was - honestly) I didn't feel the tear, didn't even know I had it until my midwife examined me post birth. I did feel the recovery but it was manageable and I saw a pelvic health physio approx 3 months pp who confirmed all was good down below.
Why?
I didn't really get into the swing of things with perineal massage antenatally & I really wish I did as I am left wondering, would that tear have been reduced by even a degree?
I will try it next time and hopefully see positive results.
5. Hire a birth photographer - or at least teach one of my sisters how to use my camera in a birthing environment.
Why?
(so that my student midwife didn't have to take time away from her actual job to respond to my demand of "film this" as baby head started to crown - sorry Mel 😭) your pictures and videos are the ones I will treasure for the rest of my life, thank you ❤
& I am a big fan of capturing the most incredible moments we experience in life, memories only last a short while before beginning to fade, it is important to me to cherish these, cherish bringing life into this world.
Postnatally
1. Have a Postnatal Preference template complete (just like my birth preference template) & have a Postpartum Doula.
Why?
As I mentioned previously, I didn't prepare at all really for the postpartum period and I felt really anxious and up in the air especially about telling people what I wanted. I believe if i had a postpartum Doula, I would have had someone by my side who literally works in this period of parents lives as a profession, they would be the BEST person to have and ask 1 million questions too. I have definitely learned so much from my first experience but every birth and postpartum journey is different so I will definitely be doing this next time.
Here is a FREE Postpartum Preference Template PDF downloadable file that I have created if anyone wishes for some ideas for their own.
2. Spend more time in bed
Why?
Em - not me doing a hike when baby was a couple weeks old and then doing Spinc a few weeks later??!!...... Honestly I would slap myself if I tried to pull stunts like that again.
I would stop trying to get out a do lots of things - seriously Hayley, just chill.
I would NOT buy a house so soon post baby - I swear, all of this most definitely contributed to my shingles and CSU outbreak I had postpartum.
3. Continued listening to my hypnobirthing scripts and practising relaxation
Why?
So insomnia was a real thing for me at some stages on my postpartum journey, not directly after baby but a few months after? (Postpartum is not just the first six weeks after baby is born like some try to make out.
It wasn't like 'oh the baby is awake I am not getting sleep' yes this happened too but it was the baby sleeping safely and me still wide awake not being able to switch off at all!
It was horrific, I really feel for people who suffer with insomnia because it is no joke. I am grateful it has gone for now.
I did start listening to relaxation at night and I really think this helped me.
I did start Reiki too - this was a game changer, was probably the first time I was able to fully switch off for an hour after having a baby. Incredible stuff. I have an amazing Reiki Practitioner based in Dublin if anyone is interested let me know I can refer her on - she is AMAZING!
4. Random but, stamped my placenta on white paper and framed before donating to rescue dog service lol.
Why?
Just for fun!
If you have been pregnant before, what would be the one piece of advice you would give to expecting parents for the antenatal and postnatal periods?
I will make a post on what I was glad I did antenatally & postnatally. SO stay tuned for that!
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Love,
Hayley