First Time Mam, Informed Decision Making, In Control, Birth Preferences, Supportive Birth Partner, Unsupportive Health Care Professionals, Pushing in Upright Position with Epidual, Positive Vaginal Birth, Declining Episiotomy + Assisted Birth - No Tearing and a Healthy Baby, Client Birth Story
Hey Hayley,
I’ve been meaning to get on to you but I feel like the last weeks of my pregnancy just absolutely flew!! If I wasn't sleeping I was cleaning and organising the most random things in the house!
The nesting instinct is so bizzare!! I swear I felt my baby was going to judge me for having streaky windows!!
I just wanted to give you an update and to thank you so much for everything you sent on!!
I went into such a deep dive on finding birth stories and information on women who used hypnobirthing and different tools and scenarios they had!
I was doing meditations and breathing excercises religiously!!
And the mindful hypnobirthing book you recommended was amazing!!But most importantly the class we attended in June really opened our eyes and prepared us for babys birth so I really really wanted to thank you!!
Little babys birth was such an amazing experience and holding him for the first time was such an out of body experience.
Even tho the experience was unbelievable we did have a few hiccups but we were so well prepared to face them!
It started with me losing my plug on the Monday.
From everything I learned following your class and what I got most out of it was to listen to my body so I kept just letting go of that makes any sense 😅.
I had a feeling that after spending the long weekend with my partner it would happen (all the oxytocin after spending so much time together).
We kept joking after the baby could come in a matter of hours days or weeks! It’s mad anytime I looked up how soon does labour start after loss of mucous plug it was anything from hours to days. So we were really relaxed about it but I had a feeling it was all starting to kick off.
That Thursday I woke up with some cramping and while I was on the yoga ball trying to breathe it out my waters broke. It was mad tho I just stayed really calm it was like I knew that we still had a bit to go, I just really leaned into my instincts.
We were really relaxed about going into the Dublin Maternity Hospital, my partner was convinced we would have our baby by lunchtime! But I kept trying to tell him that it wouldn’t be today, I just had this feeling that my baby was just giving us a little nudge that he was getting ready to meet us but it wasent going to be today.
I was in no rush to go in and we made a huge breakfast and spent ages just laughing and joking around before we went in, it was lovely really really relaxed! We knew tho that once we went in that they would be pushing an induction and even tho we really tried to avoid talking about it before we went in we turned to each other right before going into the hospital and said this baby is coming when he wants and if he’s happy and doing well we aren’t going to have the induction!
Again a big outcome from what we got out of your class.
Needless to say they booked me for an induction for 9 am the following morning and before I could say it my partner asked the midwife what would be the protocol if we refused it.
They explained that we would have to meet a consultant and we would be brought through all the risks of refusing an induction, but the midwife was lovely and just said to go enjoy the next 24 hours and try to let it happen naturally.
When they monitored us they saw that the baby was doing great, but while I was fully effaced I wasn’t dilated.
We left really optimistic and positive that we were going to make sure this baby came on his own terms. So we spent the rest of the day doing everything we could to start labour naturally. Loads of walks, eating loads of pineapple and just staying relaxed and kept each other positive and laughing all evening.
Looking back it was the most perfect way to spend the last day we had as just the two of us. That evening I started getting cramping and I thought this is it now we’re going to have a midnight dash into the delivery room😂
We got so giddy timing the contractions on the gentle birth app and rating the intensity but as time went on I was getting a little disheartened as there was still no pattern and they weren’t increasing in frequency despite staying up all night breathing them out.
I was even starting to question if I was imagining they were happening at all😅 Just as we were talking about going in and seeing if we could put off the induction (if baby was doing well that was the plan) I stepped out of bed and literally my waters just gushed everywhere 😂😂
Like something out of a sitcom😅 I went straight into the shower and within 30 mins I literally couldn’t stand anymore, the contractions just hit me like a hurricane😅
I was trying to time them but like seriously it felt like there was no breaks😅😂
I just crawled out of the shower and started bouncing on my ball while I was shouting at my partner to get into the car we had to go NOW!😂😂 very dramatic 😅😂 I think with me being so chilled the day before my partner didn’t really anticipate what was to come and was in the kitchen making breakfast for himself 😂 I shot him such a glare that I think he knew he was being very brave if he sat down to eat 😂😂
So we went straight into the Dublin Maternity Hospital, when I was examined they said I was 3cm and they were a bit condescending. They kept telling me that as a first time mum I could be 12-14 hours away from pushing 10 if I was lucky. I literally couldn't believe it I was in so much pain and they wouldn’t listen.
I had a birth plan that my partner and I had gone through which clearly stated that I didn’t want any pain relief and only to offer me any if I asked.
However they were so dismissive in ED that after they didn’t take me seriously that I couldn’t feel much of a break between contractions they just handed me the gas and air tube and told me to use it for the pain.
I was initially distressed, I really felt like my baby was coming a lot sooner and I couldn’t believe I had to cope with the pain I was in for “10 hours if I was lucky”.
That’s when I just literally had to zone out and remind myself of the “tool kit” that I had. I could literally hear you saying it in the class about the tool kit.
So I tried initially moving on the ball and it didn’t work instead I just sat really upright and focousing on a pattern on the wall concentrating on my breathing.
Honestly if I didn’t know about how much I could actually give myself going in I wouldn’t have been able to put up with it.
The pain was getting so intense that I kept asking when would I be moved to a delivery room but we kept being dismissed.
At one stage I really wanted them to check me as I was bleeding and I felt even more water come and my partner went out to the midwives to ask them to examine me again.
An older midwife then came in to give out to us saying they were too busy and we were told because I had a vaginal exam when I first came in it was “normal”.
Shortly after I started to feel desperate and like I couldn’t do it I started looking for an epidural. My partner kept asking if I was sure as I had been very firm that I wanted to do this without an epidural.
But honestly I felt so desperate we told the midwives and they told us that there was a delivery room free and within 30 mins I was being wheeled upstairs.
By that stage I started to feel different like I didn’t need it but when we got to the delivery room the doctors was already there prepping to give me the epidural.
At this stage we had only been in the hospital 3 hours from when I was initially checked and told I could be 12-14 hours before pushing.
I felt like I can’t do another 10+ hours like the last 3 and told my partner who really wanted me to have the birth I wanted without an epidural so he asked the midwife one more time to check me BEFORE the epidural.
They refused and said that they would once they’d given me the epidural as the doctor was ready and had someone else after me.
The midwife that brought me up from ED was really relaxed and was giving a handover to the delivery midwife and I heard her saying she was 'only' 3cm at 9.45am.
They finally checked me a second time at 1.10pm just after the doctor finished the epidural and she just looked up really surprised.
I was fully dilated and she could see his head, had they not just given me the epidural I would be pushing.
I was so shocked I felt like I was completely dismissed, I had managed so well by myself had I known how close I was and how I managed to labour to 10 cm by breathing alone it would have been such a motivator to keep going naturally.
Looking back it was obvious when I started looking for the epidural and wanting to go home because “I couldn’t do it “ I was in transition.
While I was initially upset after I found out how close I was to having an unmedicated birth, I really wanted to change the narrative.
I didn’t want my baby to feel anything but good vibes on the day of his birth so my partner and I started to think about all the positives of my pregnancy and we really relaxed and kept positive.
Thankfully the midwife who took over in delivery was AMAZING!!
She recognised how much of a blow it was to have the epidural while I was so close to completing my birth plan so she went through every other part of the birth plan with me and tried to make sure I could get the most out of it.
3 hours later I started the pushing and while I couldn’t feel everything I didn’t top up the epidural so I could feel the pressure and also I could move my legs.
I really wanted to be mobile and try different birthing positions my midwife was amazing and saw that because I had mobility she let me push on all 4s.
After 1 hour I had made great progress, my little man was doing great and was really trying to make his way into the world.
The midwife informed me that after an hour they have to call the doctors to asses but she saw how good I was doing and that I still had alot of strength in me to keep going so she held off for 10 mins.
They then had to call up the doctors who within 2 minutes were already suggesting an episiotomy.
I asked was there a medical need to which they said no so I refused.
My partner and the midwife held firm that I had it highlighted in my birth plan that unless there was a medical need or emergency I would prefer to tear than have an episiotomy.
The doctors left and said they would be back in 10 mins to reevaluate. The midwife turned to me and said you can do this and called for a more senior midwife to assist as his head was getting stuck at a point and he was starting to get a little distressed.
When the senior midwife came in and saw the at he was starting to get distressed she was suggesting an episiotomy or suction but I knew he was so so close.
I said just give me 3 contractions and if he’s not out or if after 1 more he’s still in distress you can cut me I don’t care as long as he’s OK.
So with the next contraction I managed to get his head fully out and his heart rate settled and with the next push his body just flew out!
It was surreal!
He was amazing and was so calm and latched within the first 30 mins of being born. He’s just the sweetest little man so calm and so curious about the world.
I recovered really well, despite the doctors pressing an episiotomy I didn’t tear and required no stitches in the end.
In the end everything went perfect and I know how lucky I was.
For the next time I’ve learned to trust my instincts and to keep listening to my body and my baby.
If you got to the end of this really long winded email I just wanted to say thanks for starting off my hypnobirthing journey. After your course I really felt my eyes open and I started to inform myself the best I could.
If I had gone into my labour and delivery without having gone to your course I would just have assumed that every step that was being offered by the medical professionals was essential (coming from a background in medical work myself)
Just knowing to ask whether there is a medical need or not is such a game changer!
I’ve recommended your page to so many of my friends and I couldn’t be more of an advocate for hypnobirthing techniques.
If im blessed with any more babies I will definitely be looking into homebirths.
Hope you and Bump are keeping well, All the best Mama and little baby 🥰
Shared with client's permission